America's way of cooking
by kuroi Honoo
Summary: We all know how England's food turns out, well what about America's?


I write this because I'm bored and can't think of anything to do. Enjoy~!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Rated: T (because of England's mouth)

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"Iggy~! I'm hungry!" whine the American.

The other blonde man just continues to read his book while sipping on his tea.

"Iggggggyyyyy~~~!"

England ignores him.

"I'M SOOOOOO HHHHUUUNNNGGGRRRYYY!"

A vein pop on England's head, but continue to ignore the younger man.

"Iggy Iggy Iggy Iggy Iggy! I'm Hung-!"

"SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" the British man finally snapped, silencing the blue eyes man.

"But Iggy! I'm SO Hungry! And I don't even mind if I eat your crappy cooking! Honestly!" whine America again.

Another vein pops on England's head.

"Crappy eh?" growled the English man.

"Well then… let's see you do it, Mr-I-can-do-anything!" Said England sarcastically.

America was not one to let down a challenge.

"Fine! And if I can cook better then you have to keep on buying me Burgers and cola from McDonalds for 1 month, how 'bout that? Ready for a bet old man?" smirk the American.

"You're on Kiddo!" England replied with the same smirk on his face.

-In the kitchen-

**Step 1: Think of something to cook and makes England the ladder.**

"Hmm…" putting on his thinking gesture America tries to find the cooking book.

"HEY IGGY! WHERE'S THE COOKING BOOK?" shouts the America to the British man in the living room.

"On the Top shelf!" came there reply.

"IT'S TOO HIGH! HELP ME UP!" Shouts the American again.

Sighing, England decides to help, "Fine!"

"Okay so you-"

"Just get over it already!" shouts England, not happy being a ladder.

"Hm… cooking deserts, cooking for beginners, cooking nuclear bombs… Hmm… I wonder which one…?" America said while thinking and talking, hoping to find some answer.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING HELL! JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP!" England shouts his legs are going to give in, and his shoulders are trembling.

"Ah! This one looks good!" taking a book from the shelf, America jumps down not caring if England passed out and is now laying on the kitchen floor.

"Damn… you… America…"murmured England.

America flips through the pages and throws the book away hitting England on the Head.

"WTF?"

"Hmm maybe I can cook some pancakes!" said the American happily.

England who is in the background starts to shout out curses.

**Step 2: Find the 'Proper' Ingredients.**

"IGGY! WHERE'S THE EGGS?"

"FRIDGE!"

"IGGY, WHERE'S THE FLOUR?"

"In the-"

"Oh wait! I've found it!"

And a clang could be heard from the kitchen.

"Uh… Iggy? Can I get more flour from your garden?"

England face palm.

**Step 3: Do something stupid that will hurt yourself.**

"Okay so… 5 eggs I think?"

Putting all five egg all at the same time to a bowl, not cracking them open yet.

"Now what? Oh yeah! MIXER!" shouts the American.

A few minutes later the American comes back with a (already turned on) mixer and with a crazy expression on his face.

And starts mixing the eggs. (NOT YET CRACKED)

"Wow this is easy… Huh? W-Wait… hey! Stop! Stop it! STOP MIXXING!" shouts the American.

Then the mixer goes out of controls and somehow America manages to go out from the kitchen with ONLY a shredded cloth and Texas glass slightly cracked.

**Step 4: Get a Band-aid and make sure it has a super hero picture on it.**

"What the hell happened to you?" ask England when he notice the American looking beaten up.

"Uh… Iggy? Can I have a band-aid?" ask the American.

England raised his eye brows and shrugs "My medical kit"

A few seconds later.

"IGGY! I CAN'T FIND THE SUPER HEROES BAND-AID!"

**Step 5: Continue with the cooking and becomes curious of stuff.**

"Ore America~!" hums America while smiling happily with 3 band-aid that covers his wounded hand. (With super heroes band-aid, cause America starts whining again when England refuses to buy one for him)

When America is happily mixing the eggs, something caught his attention.

"Look! A knife! Shiny~!" Picking up the knife from the counter, America starts playing with it.

"Hahahahaha! I AM THE HERO! AND I WILL DEFEAT ANY EVIL THAT GETS IN MY WAY!" swinging the incredibly sharp knife around as if it's some kind of sword.

"HAIYA!" America was actually pretending to throw the knife, but ended up flying through the door.

"GGGGAAAHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?" Shouts a certain English man from the Living room.

America wince, "Ugh… that's gotta hurt…"

….

"Well! Back to work!" America's face brighten up again and continue what he's doing, not caring if what he just did had hurt the British man.

**Step 6: Putting in the Ingredients.**

"Okay so, Eggs, flour from Iggy's garden, sugar, honey, drugs, newspaper, acid, perfume, gun powders Oh! And a little pinch of America's own ingredients that will make it taste 10 time more awesome!" said the American while putting in random stuff to the mixing bowl.

Meanwhile, from the living room England could hear ALL of the stuff that America puts in, and shudders.

'America is crazy if he thinks I'm going to it that rubbish cooking of his!' though England, having a bandage wrapped around his head, because of America throwing a knife to his head.

BOOM!

'On second thought, I WILL certainly NOT eat that THING his cooking…' though England again.

**Step 7: Put out the fire.**

"ENGLAND! WHERE'S THE FI-?"

"On the right corner" reply the emerald eyed man calmly.

Seconds later a sound of a fire extinguisher could be heard and a loud explosion.

**Step 8: Start EVERY thing over again.**

"Ugh… IGGY! I NEED MORE EGGS AND GUN POWDER!"

"WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU NEED GUN POWDER?" The English man shouts back.

" 'CAUSE I NEED IT OF COURSE!" came the reply.

**Step 9: Convince who's-ever-lucky-enough-to-meet-their-creator that the food IS edible. **

"Come on Iggy! I've spent 7 hours 12 minutes and 32 seconds to make this food!" looking at England directly in the eyes, America continues "You gotta eat it! I've shed my blood, sweat and tears in to this food!" plead the American.

'He weren't kidding when he said he' ve shed he blood, sweat and tears to this… ugh… thing… here…' England have to slap himself right there and then to not to puke.

"Ugh… you know what? I think I'm going to buy some food from-" but England was caught off with a spoon force to be let in to his mouth.

"See? It's not that bad!" smiling widely to England. But the reaction his hopping is not the reaction England is expressing right now.

"Umm England are you okay?" ask the American.

**Step 10: call an ambulance.**

"Hello? Yes 911? Quick! Call an ambulance! My friend just passed out out of no apparent reason and foam starts to come out from his mouth! What? No! He's not being poison! Huh? What are you crazy? Of course I didn't food poison him! Look! Just come here okay? He's soul is ready to fly away you know?"

…..

"IGGY'S SOUL!" the blond haired man jumps on top of the unconscious man and try to catch the flying soul.

Meanwhile the Britannia angel is looking flying up ahead with a big frown on his face "Damn America! I'll get you! And your food taste like crap!" shouts the flying man.

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And that's it! Ahahahaha~!

Review please!


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